


Can a Sponge and Octopus Separate Business and Pleasure?

by Sandersedge



Series: The Life and Times of SquidBob [8]
Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotions, Family, Family Bonding, Fights, M/M, No Means No, Regret, Self-Defense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:14:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28612674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandersedge/pseuds/Sandersedge
Summary: After the events that proceeded the business dinner, SpongeBob is having regrets. Thankfully, he finally opens up to Squidward about his concerns. Meanwhile, the octopus is dealing with an employee that won't take no for an answer.
Relationships: SpongeBob SquarePants/Squidward Tentacles
Series: The Life and Times of SquidBob [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978231
Kudos: 9





	1. The Fallout

**Author's Note:**

> This work only contains attempted rape without actually any of the characters following through on it. However, I still included the warning just to be safe and incase you don't want to even read about an attempted non-consensual situation. 
> 
> If you're in a situation like this and don't know where to turn, please call the National Sexual Abuse hotline at 1-800-656-4673. They will connect you with a trained professional to help you.

In the days following the fateful night at Squidnando’s apartment, SpongeBob had become increasingly distant from Squidward. While at first the octopus didn’t know since he’d been so enveloped with work, it quickly became apparent that something wasn’t right. 

After Claire had gone to bed, Squidward decided that they needed to talk. He hated doing this and what was even worse was that he knew SpongeBob was going to cry. Seeing those big, blue eyes fill with tears always broke his heart, but he knew it had to be done. 

“SpongeBob?” Squidward said coming into the living room. “Can we talk for a second?”

“Sure Squiddy,” SpongeBob set down the book he was thumbing through. 

“It...it’s about the other night at Squidnando’s place.” Squidward was nervous. “Ever since then you’ve seemed distant from me and I’m sorry it took me a couple of days to realize it. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” SpongeBob forced a smile. 

“Look SpongeBob,” Squidward saw right through it. “I know you better than you think I know you and something’s wrong.” 

“O..Ok,” SpongeBob fidgeted with his hands. “I just feel like I did something wrong and what was worse was that I was drunk. How was I supposed to know vermouth was alcoholic, I thought it was like soda or something since it was so sweet. And then was mating with you and another octopus when I said you were the only octopus for me. And…”

“Breathe,” Squidward had to slow down the fast talking sponge. 

“And,” SpongeBob took a deep breath. “And it sort of felt like I was being pushed to the side all night. I didn’t like the food or the wine and I couldn’t even follow what you two were talking about. I know I’m not the smartest sponge in the ocean but I just felt so dumb listening to the two of you. I didn’t want to say anything though. Maybe that’s why I did what I did when we got back to the apartment? I really only wanted to get you in the mood so we could come back here quicker.” 

“I had no idea,” Squidward looked at his now sobbing partner. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Squiddy,” SpongeBob sniffled. “I knew how important this dinner thing was for you so I just tried to find something on the menu and I thought spaghetti would be safe, but it wasn’t...it wasn’t! How could spaghetti not be the safe option?”

“I…”Squidward was cut off by more of SpongeBob’s stream of consciousness thoughts. 

“And then the wine,” SpongeBob continued. “I wanted to like it, I wanted to show you how mature I was by drinking wine, but it was just yucky and burned all the way down. Then afterwards I felt all loopy and I guess that was from the alcohol, but I didn’t like it. And afterwards when we were in the apartment and I had that vermouth, it made me just lose any restraint I had towards anything.”

“O…” Squidward tried unsuccessfully to get another word out. 

“Oh and the dessert,” SpongeBob was really crying now. “All I wanted was some ice cream, but they didn’t have any so I just drank some tea because I didn’t want to feel left out, but I did feel left out! I felt so left out! I don’t even know what a tart is!” 

“Y…” Squidward knew he should stop trying. 

“Then the sex,” SpongeBob was almost hyperventilating. “The sex was fantastic, don’t get me wrong. It felt so good, but I did it with someone other than you and how could I do that. My little holes are only for you and no one else, but I let a stranger inside me. And you seemed to really be enjoying it and I didn’t want to stop even though it hurt and I felt so uncomfortable, but after you gooed in me the second time, I knew that it must’ve felt so good and I just couldn’t deny you from that. I’m so ashamed of myself and if you never want to see me or talk to me or be with me ever again I understand because I’m just a dirty sponge.”

“STOP!” Squidward had to break SpongeBob out of this. “Please, stop, you’re going to pass out. And before we go any further, let me make one thing very clear, I’m not leaving you.” 

Squidward waited to see if SpongeBob was going to start back up again, but the only sound he heard was heavy breathing from his partner. He then reached over a tentacle to comfort the sponge before he started to make sense of everything SpongeBob had just spilled out to him. 

“SpongeBob,” Squidward’s voice was low. “Look you didn’t embarrass me at dinner and I honestly had no idea you didn’t like the food. I hadn’t really thought about that when I picked the restaurant. I also, sort of forgot, you don’t drink or really even ever had wine before.

As for the conversation, I’m sorry we were talking about stuff you didn’t understand. You could’ve brought something up though. I thought for sure you would’ve said something when Squidnando was talking about photographing jellyfish. Still, I should’ve involved you more, I just got excited that he was really into music. 

Finally, when we were at his apartment, I really don’t know what happened. I think I was pretty far gone by then too and it never even registered with me that you probably wouldn’t know what vermouth was. 

And the sex, well I think it was a bad move too. We mixed business and pleasure, now it’s just going to be weird. But I’m sorry I paid so much attention to him. He’s handsome for sure, but you’re the only one for me, I promise. 

Oh and it wasn’t my intention to keep going. Our...uhhh...arms were stuck together inside of you and I was trying to pry us apart.” 

“Oh,” SpongeBob wiped his eyes. “I didn’t know.” 

“Look,” Squidward pulled SpongeBob closer. “I love you and I think we made some mistakes, but we’re strong and can move past anything. I will be more aware in the future if we need to have any more business dinners. Also if something is bothering you, please talk to me, you know no matter what I’ll do my best to listen.”

“I know Squiddy,” SpongeBob laid his head on Squidward. “I love you too and you’re right.”

“I usually am,” Squidward chuckled. 

“You’re a goof,” SpongeBob giggled back. 

“Ya,” Squidward smiled. “But I’m your goof.”


	2. GlitterPants

Just as Squidward figured, things were weird at work, however only for him. SpongeBob had decided to stay home for the day and do some cleaning, so it was just Squidward who needed to deal with Squidnando. Probably just as well too. 

However, when Squidnando showed up for his shift, it was like nothing had happened. He talked to Squidward like he was his boss and not someone who had had their mating arm stuck to his only days earlier. 

Squidward wasn’t about to bring it up either. He felt like at some point it probably needed to be addressed, but hadn’t prepared himself for that talk just yet. With any luck his awkward feelings would pass and Squidnando would just forget about it. 

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. 

While cleaning up after they’d shut the doors, Squidward was helping wipe down tables. Squidnando approached him from behind and gave him a playful slap on his rear end, causing Squidward to jump. 

“What are you doing?” Squidward was in shock. 

“Just being playful,” Squidnando winked. 

“That’s probably not appropriate in the workplace,” Squidward said, sounding cross. 

“Sorry,” Squidnando replied. “I just figure you know…”

“Not at work,” Squidward repeated. 

“Do you maybe want to come over to my apartment after work then?” Squidnando looked at his manager slyly. 

“No,” Squidward went back to wiping down tables. 

“Come on,” Squidnando slinked closer to Squidward. “Don’t you want to see how this all feels by itself and without that sponge in between us?” 

“That sponge is my husband,” Squidward huffed. 

“I know,” Squidnando continued. “But I know he can’t please you like another cephalopod can.I have magic tentacles, or so I’m told.” 

“Squidnando,” Squidward set down the wash cloth and looked at the other octopus directly in the eyes. “I said no.”

Squidnando sighed and went back to his cleaning duties. It was clear to him that Squidward was playing hard to get and that he’d need to up his game if he wanted to bag his handsome manager. 

After they were done cleaning, Squidward turned off the lights and walked out, letting Squidnando go out first so he could lock the door. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come over?” Squidnando asked again. 

“I said no,” Squidward repeated himself and got into his boat. “And if you ask me again, you’re fired.” 

Squidnando held up his tentacles as to indicate he meant nothing by it and walked off in the direction of his apartment. Squidward shuttered at how creepy the encounter had been and just wanted to get home to his husband and daughter. 

The drive home was a short one, but it was long enough for Squidward to become conflicted. Did he tell SpongeBob about what happened, causing him more worry or did he just keep it to himself and risk the sponge finding out the secret. 

As he pulled into the drive, he figured the best course of action right now was to spare SpongeBob’s feelings and not tell him. Plus, he didn’t want the night to be consumed by this and, instead, wanted to focus on his family. 

“Hi honey,” Squidward opened the door and set the keys on the counter. “I’m home. Claire Bear?”

There was the sound of thundering feet coming right at him as his daughter sprinted into his outstretched tentacles. He picked her up and spun her around before giving her a kiss on the forehead. Seeing the smiling little girl made all the stress of the past few hours just melt away and he was glad to be home. 

“Where’s daddy at?” Squidward asked. 

“Sssshh,” Claire giggled. “Come with me.” 

The two of them tiptoed into the living room where SpongeBob was sleeping on the couch. However, it was clear that Claire had applied her artistic talents to the snoozing sponge and he was covered from head to toe in all sorts of colored markers. Claire had even added her signature glitter glue around some of SpongeBob’s pores making him glimmer in the soft living room light. 

Squidward started to giggle which quickly turned to laughter. SpongeBob jolted up to see just what was going on. As he opened his eyes all he could see was Squidward on the floor laughing so hard that tears were flowing from his eyes and next to him was Claire with a dopey grin on her face. 

“What’s so funny?” SpongeBob had no idea what was going on. 

“Y...yo,” Squidward could barely talk. “You’re and cover and colorful and and and…”

“Wait what?” SpongeBob said in confusion.

“Mirror,” Squidward squeaked out as he clutched his stomach from laughing so hard. 

SpongeBob stood up and walked into the bathroom. 

“HOLY SHRIMP!” the sponge’s voice bellowed from the adjoining room. 

“Do you like it daddy?” Claire giggled.

“Well,” SpongeBob didn’t want to hurt his daughter’s feelings. “I’m certainly colorful aren’t I? Maybe we need to get you some more appropriate art things.” 

“Whatever you say SparkleBob GlitterPants,” Squidward was still laughing hysterically. 

“Hey!” SpongeBob said it mock anger. 

“Oh Neptune,” Squidward tried to breathe. “SparkleBob...GlitterPants...I’m...I’m...uh oh…”

And with that Squidward had now laughed so hard that he’d inked himself.


	3. No Means No

The flirting from Squidnando became more and more apparent over the next few weeks. Squidward wanted to follow through on his threats to fire him, but he needed a fry cook and despite the despicable behavior, the octopus was actually really good behind the grill. 

Thankfully, Cindy was there most of the time so it eased the tension but there was still a lingering sense of imminent conflict in the air. Squidward tried his best to never be alone with Squidnando either since he wasn’t really sure what he’d try. He didn’t think the Spaniard was capable of forcing himself on him, but it was best not to find out. 

Unfortunately, one day Cindy got an emergency call from her mom and had to leave. Squidward understood and had often told her that family came first. As she dashed off towards home, Squidward took his all too familiar post behind the cash register. While it wasn’t where he wanted to be, in a weird way it felt good to be back. 

“Say Squiddy,” Squidnando poked his head through the window. “You want to grab a drink tonight? My treat.” 

“Busy,” was all Squidward replied as he thumbed through a magazine. 

“Can you at least drive me home?” Squidnando tried to think of another excuse. “It’s raining after all.”

“Busy,” Squidward reiterated not wanting to talk to him. 

Squidnando rolled his eyes and went back into the kitchen. He largely stayed there the rest of the day too and didn’t bother trying to talk to his manager again. Squidward was a bit wary though since he knew the other octopus could be a bit crafty. At least he had a couple of interviews lined up towards the end of the week for fry cooks. Once that was settled he could send the creepy cephalopod packing. 

At the end of the day, Squidward was counting the money in the cash register while Squidnando cleaned the kitchen. He just wanted to hurry up and get home so he could hopefully see Claire before she went to bed, but the Spainard was taking his dear sweet time with the mop. 

“Are you just about finished?” Squidward was annoyed. 

“Can you help me for a second?” Squidnando said. “There’s grease under the table and I need someone to pick it up so I can get it.”

“Fine,” Squidward sighed. He didn’t want to do this, but if meant he could leave sooner then it was a small inconvenience. 

Squidward walked back into the kitchen, but Squidnando was nowhere to be seen. The octopus let out another sigh and looked around once more. He was not in the mood to play games and the floor already looked perfectly clean. 

“Squidnando?” Squidward said. “Where the hell are y--”

Squidnando had been hiding and quickly grabbed Squidward, covering his mouth with his tentacles. He then started to drag the struggling Squidward towards the prep table in the middle of the room. 

“I know you were playing hard to get,” Squidnando said. “No more games though.”

Squidward couldn’t respond as his mouth was held tightly by the other octopus. It was now abundantly clear what was going to happen too. Squidward never dreamed the Squidnando was capable of rape, but it turned out he was wrong. 

Squidnando used a free tentacle to get his mating arm out and start positioning towards Squidward. However, in a brief moment of hesitation he stopped and wondered if he wanted to take the octopus’s ink duct or siphon. 

The brief hesitation was all it took for Squidward to eye a fork, grab it, and slam it directly into the tentacle covering his mouth. Squidnando shrieked in pain as the three pointed utensils drove into his flesh and he recoiled back. 

“Fuck you!” Squidnando screamed and charged at Squidward. This too seemed to be a poorly calculated move as Squidward raised a tentacle and slammed it directly into the approaching octopus’s nose, sending him to the floor. 

As Squidnando was attempting to get up, Squidward made a break for the pantry in hopes of being able to call the police. However, Squidnando was hot on his heels and made it to the pantry just as Squidward closed the door. The angry octopus wrestled to pry the door from Squidward’s grip, but the blue blood on his tentacle wasn’t allowing him to get a good grip. 

Finally Squidnando managed and flung the door open hoping to see a cowering octopus on the floor. What he saw instead was a cast iron skillet coming at his head, before his whole entire world went black.

Squidward was breathing heavy as he clutched the skillet. Beneath him Squidnando lay in a heap with more blue blood pooling around his head. Squidward kicked the downed octopus to see if he was still alive, and thankfully he was, just badly hurt. 

Squidward looked around and found an extension cord which he used to hog tie the injured octopus. Once he was certain that the creature was secure, he then called the emergency services and then went to queue up the surveillance system so the police could see it. 

Within moments, two police boats and an ambulance came roaring up to the Krusty Krab. Since he knew the police probably wouldn’t know one octopus from another he held his tentacles up as the officers entered. Thankfully, one of the fish recognized Squidward from all the trips he’d taken to the Krab and had the octopus direct them to Squidnando. 

It didn’t take long for them to sort everything out and with the surveillance system, the police had all the evidence they needed to place Squidnando under arrest. However, first he needed to be attended to by the paramedics since Squidward had done a number on him. The police assured him though that once released from the hospital, he’d be heading straight to jail. 

After the officers left, Squidward let out a sigh and looked at the mess the kitchen was in. There was blood splattered all over and pans were strewn about. It was going to be a long night, but then his phone rang.

“Hello,” Squidward answered. 

“Squiddy?” the voice of the familiar sponge was on the other line. “Where are you?”

“It’s been a long night,” Squidward replied. 

“What do you mean?” SpongeBob asked. 

“Squidnando isn’t coming back,” Squidward said. “You know what? I’m going to come home and tell you all about it.”


End file.
